Complications

I’ve been a workaholic for as long as I’ve been legally allowed to work. I got my first job at 15 and was hooked. I loved the independence and feeling financially responsible for myself. Not to mention opportunities to meet new people and learn new skills.

So hear I am now, living with my parents and purposefully not working in order to focus on my writing. Needless to say it’s difficult. It feels like a step in the wrong direction. I’ll be thought of as one of those crazy people. Or worse, lazy.

I struggle with it some days. Am I doing the right thing? I ask myself. Am I shirking responsibility or following a pipe dream which has no possibility of coming true? And the worst question: should I give it all up and go get a real job?

I know, only a couple months into this year-long adventure and I’m already having second thoughts. But it’s almost impossible not to. Every moment I’m not at my computer writing I feel guilty. This is my time to write wholeheartedly without distractions, how could I possibly take a moment to eat lunch, go for a walk or see an old friend?

All of these questions and the pressure I put on myself aren’t positive. I know that the only thing it will do is make me anxious and unable to concentrate on what is really important. But if I am kind to myself and patient things will fall into place. Not without hard work, but not without breaks either.

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5 thoughts on “Complications

  1. It’s completely normal feel in that way when you’re making such a big change to your life…many questions have came to your mind and will keep coming…I just want to tell you that even with doubts deep inside your heart you’re the only one who can know what really wants..and what makes you happy. Saludos!

  2. You’re doing something people are too afraid to try, so they bury themselves in meanlingless work and secretly wish they were you 😉

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